Honeypot's 1,000th Child
Kirstie Nash was Honeypot’s 1,000th young carer back in 2006. She has a sister four years older than her with cerebral palsy, autism and epilepsy and helped her mum care for her growing up.
We spoke to Sue and Kirstie about her time with Honeypot.
Sue and Kirstie at the skyride event.
Sue
Kirstie started helping care for her sister and other duties from the age of 4, from cooking and cleaning to entertaining, “she was a mini-me” as I was on my own.
“I always felt very guilty, and still do that she didn’t have the same sort of childhood that other children had. She couldn’t have friend’s come around to play or go to friend’s houses and birthday parties. ”
We did parties in secret where her sister was unaware. We couldn’t celebrate her birthday or do things other families take for granted, such as going to the park or even on the bus, silly everyday things. Young carers take on responsibilities earlier than other children.
Kirstie’s sister couldn't have a bike, so she couldn’t. I wanted it to be fair. Honeypot showed her how to ride, she wouldn’t have had that opportunity otherwise. I could see the benefit in Kirstie, and the other children from having had those sorts of wonderful opportunities.
“It was so nice for me to know that she was able to forget about me, her sister and life at home. Her sense of responsibility lifted.”
Kirstie struggled with seeing a representation of her sister anywhere, there weren't images of people in wheelchairs and she didn’t have the opportunity to meet other young carers at school. It's not really talked about much. Young carers can be very much hidden in society, no child is going to want to go into school with a label, and schools may not recognise a young carer.
They do very much slip under the radar.
Other children didn't understand when she couldn't go to parties. The difference at school is that they can't share, or join in, kids can be quite ruthless. Kirstie may have found it difficult to try and explain to them why.
The work Honeypot does is vital in highlighting the fact that there are an awful lot more young carers than anybody imagines. These young children have an awful lot of needs, mental health issues, and worries about finances and care duties. During the pandemic, many of them also had to isolate. There needs to be much more awareness and education in schools, even for teachers, people may be scared to ask, but we need to otherwise we won’t get anywhere. In secondary school, Kirstie needed the extra time to do her homework, the pressure is a lot more intense and it was very difficult.
“I just think it’s really great that Honeypot is that flagship voice for these children who often don’t have a voice. ”
Many young people wouldn't necessarily recognise or see themselves as a young carer, that's just the family in which they live. That’s why the awareness Honeypot raises is so important.
Kirstie
Kirstie is now 28 and has worked in roles that support the homeless with housing and employment.
I've always wanted a job where I can help people that are forgotten about in some way or looked down on, it’s always stuck with me.
I will always remember going away for my first Honeypot break, the feeling of getting on the minibus with all the other children, not knowing where we are going.
You come across a forest, then this house just appears, and it all felt so magical. A little escape in the woods. The best part was the chance to meet other children who know what it feels like to have the difficulties you do, also caring for someone in their family. I made so many friends. I always remember those who had never been to the beach, I had, so it was a big realisation of what some young carers can miss out on.
“We could forget our problems and be children”
My sister's mood and attitude could change a lot growing up. It could be tough at home sometimes as I didn’t know what the atmosphere would be. The chance to get away from all the responsibility and worry. It was just freeing.
I think that ‘Happy Memories and Brighter Futures’ is the perfect tagline for Honeypot. Honeypot is like a family, when I attended the carers festival some of the team members still recognized me, year after year. Receiving the birthday cards, and all the little things Honeypot does throughout the year, despite not being at the house physically, made everything better.
We went to drop some stuff off a while back and I still had the same magical feeling coming through the trees, that escape, there's nothing quite like it.
““And even now I still have that feeling.” ”
I’ve done a lot of sponsored events to raise money for Honeypot, so they can continue to help other people the way they provided support for me, I know how essential the work you do is. I think awareness has increased since I was a young carer, more now understand the struggle of what we have to do. However, I think there's still a lot more that isn't done and could be done to support them.
One of Kirstie’s first breaks at Honeypot House.
Kirstie and Sue recently attended our Garden Party in June.
“It’s amazing to see the improvements to the house since I was here, but it still has the same magic feeling!”
Exploring Honeypot House Hampshire 16 years on.
Kirstie is still hoping Honeypot will do an adult holiday; I reckon I can still fit in that bed!
If you’d like to find out more about our wrap-round services or help fund a young carer like Kirstie, please click below.