A Letter to Honeypot

To the heads of the Honeypot Charity,

I'm writing to you as a disabled mum of two young girls who have hugely benefited from the existence of Honeypot, and the incredible staff they have come into contact with. As someone who can see on a daily basis the need for a charity like yours I feel it my duty to help you to see and understand just how vital this organisation is, and just how hard the people there work.

Sadly I cannot give in the way I would like to financially to support this amazing charity, but hopefully my words and truth will work in a similar way.

Here is our story as a family with the Honeypot charity:
We first met Nikita at the Carers hub in Stoke, she was a passionate and bubbly character who somehow managed to connect with our eldest daughter. This alone was one of the very first magical moments we encountered, Nikita didn't know but our Isabella had been through a fair amount for a five year old, and we were really struggling to get her to connect with anyone outside of the immediate family, be it teachers or support workers, yet here Nikita was and she managed to get Izzy to respond to her! We were nervous as I'm sure all first time parents are, of sending their young children away for a couple of nights, but Nikita was so kind and understanding, she made us feel heard - which again was a rarity. On the lead up to Izzy's stay I was really anxious about how she would cope, but Nikita was there at the end of the phone to reassure me that she would do her utmost to ensure Izzy enjoyed herself. Little did I know just how true to her word she was!

Nikita was amazing, she sent me photos and updates throughout the whole stay, and the joy on Izzy's face was for once genuine! Izzy had somehow formed this amazing bond with Nikita, that enabled her to feel safe enough to sleep (which again was a miracle!) and have fun outside of our family unit, not even extended family have ever been able to bond with her in this way! Our withdrawn, anxious girl came home with the biggest smile on her face, she was sad to leave Honeypot house (in Wales) but the experiences she'd had there we're spilling from her lips before we even got her in the car! To hear that our daughter had been given the opportunity to swim, which we had been desperate to do for her but unable due to the risks with my health, was incredibly emotional. But it's like Nikita knew, she worked tirelessly to help make us feel apart of all these new experiences almost like she was an extension of us. It is strange how someone I'd only met twice seemed connected to me in such a way all because of Izzy and the desire we both had to see her happy.

Throughout covid, honeypot was always there, checking to see we were okay and reassuring us that as soon as they were able they'd be back up and running. During that time the zoom calls and various crafts became a part of family life. Leah-Rose our youngest grew ever eager for life to return to normal just so she too could go to the magical place her sister had been. Finally that time came.

Leah-Rose had really struggled the most, of the two girls coming to terms with having a disabled parent and what this really meant. She had been bullied relentlessly by her peers, one even going as far as to say she did not have a 'real' mum. If only people knew the real damage flippant words can cause, even to someone that young. We had huge hopes that Honeypot would offer her a similar magic that it had given to her sister, helping her feel okay with our family life. Of course covid, as for many had not been kind to us and at the same time as Leah's troubles began, Isabella's came more and more to light. In 2021 Izzy confided in us her wish to die. No parent is ever prepared for the pain this causes, it killed us and we desperately started to search for answers. We started the process for an Autism diagnosis. When Honeypot reached out and asked if the girls would like to do a retreat I jumped on the chance, but soon messaged Nikita to see if she would be there. Thankfully she was, the relief was immense as at that time we were really struggling to trust others to look after our girls with the care and love they deserved. However Nikita was one person who I knew I could count on. The girls prepared for their stay, and I started to see the change in them, they were happy and excited! They felt like superheroes, their superpowers being they were young carers so only they could access the super-head quarters! Soon enough they were on the bus without even saying goodbye! And again Nikita was right there feeding back all their adventures, reassuring me that all was okay. When the girls returned they were rather broken hearted at having to leave their 'other home'. As they shared with me more moments of magic they'd experienced over their stay I realised just how lucky we were. Leah too had gotten to experience swimming for the first time! She soon had all the staff wrapped around her little finger, and made a firm bond with Nikita's own mum - Tangie, I will confess to feeling slightly jealous of just how much Leah adored her, but more than anything I was just so so grateful. She came back from that retreat and she told me that night as I was tucking her into bed, she was proud to be my young carer! I sobbed tears of relief, and relayed my gratitude to Nikita and the team. I'm not sure how but Tangie had really helped Leah to see her worth, and enabled her chances she normally would not have. The experiences they had during that stay, were again magical, Isabella came home and has since taken the chance to independently bake as a way of coping with anxiety, something Honeypot taught her. There was not enough words to relay our thanks to the team of the impact that stay had on our girls.

The girls have been in total 4-5 times now to the Wales house, each time they become so alive with excitement! The memories they've made there are so treasured all their photos from each individual stay are kept safely in their keep-sake places. Leah even has a photo of her and Tangie stuck to the wall by her bed, and often talks of her wishing she could see her more. Meanwhile Izzy often reminisces of times with Nikita, and the way she made her feel like a 'normal' girl, doing her a hair braid, teaching her to bake and many other things.

After their most recent stay 30th June - 2nd July, I realised that Honeypot wasn't just a charity or after school club, to us as a family it was so much more. Isabella's needs have grown over the years and it has really knocked her confidence to the point she almost didn't go this time, no matter what we said. That is until she asked me, 'will Nikita be there?', I wasn't sure but seeing my chance we said she might, and finally she packed her bag. When they returned we found out that poor Nikita had been there since Monday and the weekend should have been her time off, but the amazing lady stayed! She stayed on her weekend off to be with my girls, she could have gone home, got a full nights sleep and a far more relaxed weekend, but she didn't. If only she knew just how much this meant to both my girls and I, Nikita, Tangie, and many of the honeypot house team have become family to us. They care, support and entertain our girls more than most of our blood related family. They give our girls somewhere they can go and be children. They are free of judgement, free of anxiety, free from any negativity! Honeypot is like their Neverland. It is their safe sanctuary, but it wouldn't be that without those incredible people, they are the ones who make the house a home.

Living the life of chronic illness and various different difficulties brings you into contact with a lot of different professionals, organisations and individuals. Most of which I can say very clearly just do their job, there's no real emotion or connection involved. But the team and Honeypot? They go above and beyond! They remember each child they interact with, they tuck them into bed seventeen times in a night when they cant sleep, they genuinely care about how each child is feeling, and they give my girls magic.

I don't know if my words quite do justice to what it is Honeypot means to me. What Nikita, Tangie and the team, even Mike the bus driver(!) mean to me. But I need you to know that without a doubt they are all vital and incredible. My husband and I are without doubt eternally grateful, thank you for enabling this. Hopefully you yourselves recognise that you too have a vital role to play in all of this, for without the existence of Honeypot I would not be here sharing this with you, so thank you.

I truly hope that over time there are other ways that my family and I can give back to this amazing charity, the girls and my husband are already coming up with various ways they could raise money! But for now my words will have to suffice.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
An incredibly grateful mother,
Sally